One of you is carrying the toxicity for both.
The votes are in and the toxicity is NOT evenly distributed. One of you is doing the heavy lifting in the chaos department while the other is out here being suspiciously reasonable. This doesn't automatically mean the 'more toxic' person is the villain — sometimes the 'less toxic' person is just better at hiding their mess, or they've mastered the art of being toxic in ways that don't look toxic (looking at you, weaponized calmness). But let's be real: if one person is consistently the one starting fires while the other is always holding the extinguisher, that's a pattern worth examining. The toxic one needs self-awareness. The non-toxic one needs boundaries. You both need to talk about this.
Get your read — free on iPhoneone of you is doing all the emotional damage and the other is either a saint or just really good at toxic behavior that doesn't look toxic.