Every toxic thing has a 'but they didn't mean it' attached.
Your red flag is the industrial-grade excuse factory you run for people who hurt you. They cancelled last minute? They're just busy. They said something hurtful? They were stressed. They crossed a boundary? They didn't know it was there. You have a PhD in justifying other people's behavior and a kindergarten-level education in protecting yourself. It's not naivety — it's a survival strategy. If you can explain away the bad behavior, you don't have to face the terrifying truth: that someone you love might not be treating you well. So you keep rewriting their actions into a story you can live with. But the story you're writing isn't love — it's a permission slip for people to keep hurting you.
Get your read — free on iPhoneyou make excuses for people because accepting the truth would mean accepting that someone you chose isn't choosing you back.