Loyalty split down the middle.
You've spent so long trying to be loyal to two things that were never going to let you serve both that you've started splitting quietly down the middle under pressure. Guilt isn't an occasional visitor, it's practically a roommate — you replay the damage you've caused so often it's hard to remember you're allowed to want anything besides atonement. You volunteer for the worst version of every task, like suffering for it might balance a ledger only you can see. People who love you get the fallout of a war fought inside your own head, and you rarely let them close enough to help you fight it. The Eye notes: you keep sentencing yourself for choices made before you had the power to refuse them.
Get your read — free on iPhoneAtonement that never ends isn't justice, it's just another cage you built yourself.
The ledger you're still privately trying to balance.
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