The cynic who shows up anyway.
You'll tell anyone the world's a mess and mean it, then quietly show up at 3am for someone who needs you. Cynicism is your armor and sarcasm is how you say 'I care' without the terror of saying it plainly. You expect the worst so nothing can blindside you. The Eye sees straight through the bit: you've never once actually walked away — you just narrate leaving so nobody asks you to stay soft.
Get your read — free on iPhoneWhat all the sarcasm is actually guarding.